Sunday 29 January 2012

Grrrr..that book

So they released this book a coupla' years ago 100 Best Australian Albums written by 2 old farts and some unknown guy and fuck me if at least 50 % of it wasn't pure shite.  So I'm gonna be quick because I don't wanna give these turds (er... authors) too much attention. Let's just start with the 'You Gotta Be Kidding Me' category.
#36 S/T-Savage Garden
 #39 Echo wa wa like a fuckn' baby- Something For Kate
 #97 Tea & Sympathy-Burn yer Fanny
 #96 S/T- Baby fuckn' Animals
 #93 Bear Witness- No I'm fuckn' Talking
 #91 Awake is The New Sheep- Ben Lee
 #89 Get Boon-Jet
 #86  The Sound of Shite er...sorry White-Missy Higgins
 #78 Highly Shite-The Vines
 #74 Suburban Shitebook-Bob Evans
 #57 The Living End-Will it Ever End
 #25 Neon Bullshit- Silverchair.

There's 12 examples there of pure shite. What no Uncanny X-men? At least they were fuckn' funny.

Next.  Can't comment haven't heard them category.
#19 Sarah Blasko-As Day Follows Night, finding it hard to believe that this is a better than The Saints classic debut I'm Stranded.
#30 S/T-Gurrummil ,finding it hard though to think this could be a better record than The Saints classic 3rd LP Prehistoric Sounds.
#47 Augie March-Moo, You Bloody choir, finding it hard to believe that this is a better record than Eternally Yours, the best Saints album (their 2nd) which is not even on this list.
#82  Bliss N Eso -Flying Colours, finding it a little hard to believe this is better than anything by Geisha, Electric Pandas, Cattletruck, 1927, Margaret Urlich or Gian.
#98 Kylie Minogue- Fever, finding it hard to believe this could be better than Collette.

The best Australian LP ever?
Are you sure you got their best album? category.
#94 X-X-Aspirations, At Home With You is also brilliant.
#87 Go-Betweens-Before Hollywood, I dunno I like Spring Hill Fair better.
#84 Tex, Don & Charlie, over the 1st, 3rd & 4th The Beasts of Bourbon albums. I don't think so.  Over Thug, no.
#72 Died Pretty- Doughboy Hollow, over Free Dirt and Lost. Not me.
#66 Paul Kelly-Foggy Highway, over all his 80s output (except Gossip) and  Comedy. Wrong.
#63 The Cruel Sea- Honeymoon is Over, over This is not the way home. No way.
#58 Barnesy-Working Class Man over his duets record. No.
#55 You Am I-Hourly Daily, over a bowl of turds, I doubt it.
#50 ACDC-Highway to Hell, Why aren't all Bon Scott era LPs here.  This is as high as Bon gets what a fuckn' outrage!
#45 Eddy Current Suppression Ring-Rush to Relax, over the first 2 records-nay.
#43 Powderfinger-Odyssey No. 5, over squealing possums that wake you up in the night. What?
#33 The Church-Starfish, I also love Of Skins and Heart, Seance and Heyday.
#26 Nick Cave- Boatman's Call, what about Your Funeral, My Trial, Kicking Against The Pricks or Henry's Dream ?
#17 Birthday Party-Junkyard, where's Prayer's On Fire ?
#3  Crowded House-Woodface, their worst album! Where's the debut?
#1 Midnight Oil-Diesel and Dust. What about Place Without a Postcard, 10,9,8.... or Red Sails mate?!
Next.
Category of their own.
#65 Hummingbirds - LoveBuzz.  I loved their early singles as well as this albums Blush and Word Gets Around but when I got the LP home I thought What the fuck's happened here?! The production was fucked. It sounded faulty and not in a good way. A lost opportunity!

Great tune.
This book just does not ring true.  It's like they've worked out what is going to please the lowest common denominator to get the most sales then chucked in a few cool bands The Drones and Beaches for a bit of cred. I had this idea to do Australia's best rock albums about ten years ago after remembering an excellent list in Edge magazine from maybe 1989-90.  I thought if I could get some of the cats who wrote on that article with some younger guys and me, it would be a great book.  I like to think it wouldn't have been anywhere near as faulty as this or as cynical. Another lost opportunity!

More on the glaring omissions soon. Most notably 3 artists who didn't make it in at all.

Where's this ya wankers?

2 comments:

  1. This is hilarious.

    As a side note, I've always been amazed at the perennial respect people have for The Living End. This band built a career (in Australia at least) off one song and ever since have been hanging round complaining about not being big in the US and writing really inane lyrics. All the while, people have been calling them punk!

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    1. I saw them once, pre-fame era supporting my friends band. I thought they were absurd. The had really tall hair. Being the smartarse I was/might still be I went into the toilets and came with out my hair as tall as theirs to wind em up.

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